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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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First off, I hit up the local café on High Street. You know, the one with the weird name? “The Bean Scene” or somethin’. I ordered my usual – a latte that’s basically a hug in a cup. But guess what? They messed it up! I got a flat white instead. Like, c’mon, how hard is it? I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw the barista’s face. Poor kid looked like he’d just lost a puppy. So, I chilled. I mean, it’s just coffee, right?

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