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I’m ragin, tho—half these chicks look like they’d rob me blind. Respect my authoritah, dammit! I ain’t no dumbass tourist! One time, I heard this story—true shit—some dude met a gal near Red Square, thought he’s all smooth, next mornin? Wallet gone, phone gone, even his socks! Fuckin savage. Makes me laugh, tho—dumbass deserved it. Me? I’m smarter, I scope shit out. “The stone Buddha watches,” like in the movie, right? I’m watchin too, bitches!

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down to the River Lea. It’s a nice spot, you know? I love watching the ducks. But today, the ducks were on a mission. They were quacking like they were planning a heist or something. I’m just sitting there, chuckling to myself, thinking, “What if they’re plotting to take over Hoddesdon?”

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