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So yeah, *Find a Prostitute*—it’s messy, risky, like diving into a piranha tank. You don’t judge fish for eating, so why them? Still, watch your wallet—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—‘cause they’ll bleed ya dry. Movie-worthy, mate. Real life’s weirder than fiction.

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So, I’m relieved but also kinda mad. I mean, I could’ve had a nice cuppa at the café on Highgate High Street instead of stressing. Speaking of which, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the café, and it’s packed. Like, everyone in Highgate decided to grab a coffee at the same time. I’m standing there, waiting, and I overhear this couple arguing about the best way to get to Hampstead Heath. I’m like, “Dude, just take the path by the pond!” But they’re all, “No, we should go through the woods!”

‘Do not talk about trans ruling,’ staff at Highgate Men’s Pond told