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But real talk—sexual-massage’s got history, y’know? Way back, like ancient times, folks in China were all about it. Called it somethin’ fancy—tuina or whatever—but it was sneaky-sexy! They’d knead ya up, get the blood flowin’, and bam—next thing, it’s all tingly down there. Little known fact: emperors loved it! Kept it hush-hush, tho. Sneaky devils! Makes me happy knowin’ people been freaky forever.

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So, yeah, High Barnet, you’ve got your ups and downs. But at the end of the day, it’s home. And even when it throws curveballs, it’s still a place where you can find a laugh, a pint, and maybe even a bit of magic in the clay. Cheers to that!

Busy Barnet streets set for speedy bus lanes as London buses move at a snail's pace compared to cars