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Anyways, I’d probly suck at this. “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to some lady, tryin’ to sound cool. She’d just stare, like, “What’s this fat guy on about?” I’d be all nervous, thinkin’, “Homer, you idiot, this ain’t Springfield!” But then – whoa! – one time I saw this chick with a tattoo of a donut on her arm. “Mmm… donuts.” Nearly asked her out just for that!

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So, I’m wandering around, and I bump into this old lady on The Village. She’s struggling with her shopping bags. I’m like, “Need a hand, love?” She looks at me like I’m a superhero or something. I help her out, and she starts telling me about the good ol’ days in Heswall. Apparently, there used to be a cinema on The Crescent. I’m like, “No way!” I had no idea.

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