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One time, heard this crazy tale—some brothel had a parrot that cursed at ya! Freakin’ hilarious—squawkin’ “Pay up, jackass!” while dudes fumbled coins. Wish I’d seen that! Anyway, it’s a messy world, brothel life—dirty sheets, dirtier deals. Kinda like Springfield, but with less donuts—sad! “Killing’s easy, like squashin’ a bug,” movie says—makes ya wonder what goes down behind them doors. Prolly nothin’ THAT wild, but still—yikes!

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Then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Oi, you ready for the show tonight?” I’m pumped! We’ve got this big bullfighting event at the Hemel Hempstead Sports Centre. But first, I gotta get my gear sorted. So, I dash over to my flat on Marlowes. I’m running, dodging people like I’m in some sort of obstacle course.

Filming set to take place in Hemel Hempstead High Street tonight