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About Glasgow

Oi, mate, it’s me, James Bond—suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah? Picture this: I’m strollin’ through some dodgy backstreet, lookin’ for intel, when bam—there’s this bird, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lampost like she owns it. Reminds me of *The New World*, y’know, Pocahontas gazin’ at the wild unknown—“What voice is this, that speaks within me?” she’d say. Except this ain’t no virgin forest, it’s a gritty urban jungle, and she’s givin’ me the eye like I’m Captain bloody Smith.

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I get to my flat, and guess what? My gear’s gone! I’m flipping out. “Where’s my stuff?!” I’m searching everywhere. Turns out, I left it at the pub last night. Classic! I race back to The Old Bell, praying it’s still there. I burst in, and the bartender just laughs. “You again?” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, mate, I’m a mess!” But thank the heavens, my gear’s safe.

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