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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and loud, and I’ve got thougths on this “find a prostitute” business. You shall not pass without hearing me out! So, picture this – it’s grim, it’s messy, like *Requiem for a Dream*, my fave flick. That movie? Hits hard. “We got a winner!” – except nobody wins when you’re chasing that dark high, right? Same vibe here. Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic in the Shire.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy shoves his way through. He’s got a wild look in his eyes. I’m thinkin’, “Oh no, not today.” I step in front of him, and he’s like, “I just wanna say hi!” Yeah, right. I’m not lettin’ that happen.

Helensburgh still on wish list for major supermarket retailer