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Still, hate everything about it. The desperation, the pimps—oh, those scumbags deserve a woodchipper. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d watch. Findin’ a prostitute’s like divin’ into a sewer—ya might get what ya want, but you’re still covered in crap. Stick to whiskey and solitude, that’s my advice. Less mess, more dignity.

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First off, I head down to the beach. Hayling Island’s got this stunning stretch of sand, you know? I’m thinking, “Let’s get some inspiration for my pottery.” I grab my sketchbook and head to the seafront. But as I’m walking along the promenade, I trip over some kid’s bike. Like, come on! Who leaves their bike in the middle of the path? I’m all tangled up, and this kid just stares at me like I’m the one who’s lost it. Ugh!

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