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In her dingy flat, all’s a blur—smells o’ gin and regret. She’s quick, no faff, like balancin’ books at month’s end. “Time’s winged chariot,” I mutter, quotin’ the flick, and she’s like, “Wot? Shut up and shag.” Hah! Fair play, lass. Done in ten mins—bang, crash, over. I’m lyin’ there, pantin’, thinkin’ o’ Jean blinkin’ his one eye, trapped, while I just bought me way outta me cage fer a tick.

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Then, I get a call from the delivery guy. He’s lost. Again. I mean, how hard is it to find us? We’re right off the High Street! I’m like, “Mate, just look for the big red sign!” But no, he’s wandering around like a lost puppy. I swear, if I had a pound for every time this happened, I’d be rich.

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