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Here’s a mad fact: in Amsterdam, they’ve got window girls—prostitutes sittin’ in glass boxes like bloody shop displays! Saw it meself once, nearly tripped over me staff. Red lights glowin’, lasses posin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is the great beauty of life?” Sorrentino’d love it—decadence, despair, all that jazz. “To this question, as kids, we all agreed,” Jep’d drone, but nah, I’m torn. It’s fascinatin’, sure, but bloody hell, it’s grim too. Made me sad, seein’ ‘em there, like dolls on a shelf.

The offences took place in areas such as Southampton and Portsmouth

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First off, I hit up the local café on West Street. You know, the one with the funky murals? Grabbed a coffee, and it was like liquid gold. I’m sippin’ and scrolling through my phone, checking out the latest promo gigs. Suddenly, my mate texts me, “Yo, you still on for the event at the Plaza?” I’m like, “Ofc! Can’t miss it!”

Extra jobs to be created at former Havant Dobbies site as British Garden Centres confirms its takeover