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About Newcastle

I’m tellin ya, it ain’t easy, pal! You think it’s all Hollywood – bam, there’s a gal waitin? Nah, it’s a freakin maze! Great Scott! Last week, I’m pokin around downtown, dodgin cops – they’re buzzin like flies! – and this chick, she’s eyeballin me. I’m thinkin, “Jackpot!” But nope, she’s sellin knockoff purses! Laughed my ass off – what a twist! “You’re not my father!” – movie line again, poppin up as I realize I’m chasin shadows.

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So, I rush over to the office on College Lane. Traffic’s a nightmare. I’m stuck behind some old bloke in a rusty Ford. I’m yelling at him like he can hear me, “C’mon, mate! Move it!” But he’s just there, oblivious. I swear, if I had a horn, I’d be blasting it like a madman.

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