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I got mad once, tho. Some chick charged me triple—fuck that! Said it was “premium sensual vibes.” Bitch, I ain’t payin’ for vibes—I want hands, motherfucker! Made me wanna yell, “I’m trying to live here!” like Brandon in Shame. But when it’s good? Holy shit, I’m happy as a pig in mud. Surprised me first time—didn’t expect no toe-curlin’ from a damn rubdown. Thought it’d be all soft ‘n’ lame—nah, son, it’s intense!
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Finally, the locksmith shows up, and it’s this young woman who looks like she just stepped outta a rock concert. She’s got this tool belt and a wicked smile. She gets the door open in like, two minutes. Dave’s face is priceless. I’m like, “You owe me a drink, mate!”
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