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Oh, and get this—some old-time whores? They’d stash cash in hollowed-out bibles. Sneaky, huh? Love that hustle. Me, I’d suck at it—too loud, too clumsy. Probly trip over my own mask, ha! Anyway, next time you see one, don’t stare like a prat. They’re survivors, mate, tougher than us. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.”—they’re the real deal, no Hollywood gloss.

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So, I’m buzzing, right? I get to the office on Newchurch Rd, and it’s like a scene from a bad movie. My boss, Mr. Thompson, is pacing like a caged lion. He’s all, “The market’s tanking!” I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just a dip.” But nah, he’s sweating bullets. I mean, it’s just stocks, not the end of the world!

Haslingden Primary School receives funding boost from Rossendale Rotary