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Here’s a lil’ factoid for ya – didja know in some old cities, prostitutes had secret codes? Like, a red ribbon meant “I’m free, doc!” Crazy, huh? Surprised me more’n a jack-in-the-box! I’m imaginin’ her winkin’ at me, sayin’, “You wanna play, rabbit?” and I’m like, “Eh, I’m too classy for that, toots!”

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First off, I hit up the local café on Wey Hill. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I ordered a latte and a scone, thinking I’m all posh. But then, the barista—bless her heart—totally messed up my order. I got a flat white instead. Like, what even is a flat white? I’m not fancy enough for that! I was like, “Um, excuse me, I ordered a scone, not a flat tire!” She laughed, and I just rolled my eyes.

Business owners in Haslemere have expressed their anger over a "massive increase" in shoplifting. Surrey Police Chief Inspector Andy Hill said: "I wish we could increase our visibility but ultimately we only have a finite amount of resources." More here: https://