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But real talk—she’s a survivor, man. Reminds me of Llewelyn in the movie, dodgin’ crap left and right. Once saw her dodge a cop like she was freakin’ Neo in *The Matrix*—boom, gone! Had me shook. I was like, “Damn, girl, you’re slick!” Kinda hot, too—how you doin’, amirite? But nah, she’d chew me up and spit me out. “You don’t wanna mess with this, sugar,” she’d say, all sassy. And I’d be like, “Yeah, fair.”

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Hartshill is a suburb in Stoke-on-Trent, England. Hartshill is situated nearby to the suburb Basford, as well as near Penkhull. Photo: Penny Mayes, CC BY-SA Royal Stoke University .

Once the fire brigade clears us, we head back in. Turns out it was just a burnt toast incident. Classic. I’m still buzzing from the adrenaline when I get a text from my mate, Tom. He’s like, “You coming to the pub later?” I’m like, “Only if I survive this day!”

The stunning woodland with bluebell walks and hilltop views of Warwickshire