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Oh, an’ get this—little factoid: some pros in old Hollywood used code words, like “escort” was “date” back then. Sneaky, huh? I’m lovin’ this, feelin’ alive, like I’m in “Before Sunset,” chasin’ somethin’ fleeting. “Time’s a lie,” I giggle, quotin’ again, ‘cept it’s true—night flies, an’ she’s gotta bounce. I’m sad, poutin’, but she winks, “Next time, doll.” I’m swoonin’, breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President!”—an’ off she struts, queen of the night. What a dame!

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But then, out of nowhere, my ex walks in. Great. Just what I needed. She’s with some new bloke, and I’m trying to act cool, but inside, I’m like, “Why, universe, why?” I take a swig of my pint, trying to drown my feelings.

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