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She’d flirt with Dave from accounting—poor sod. “You’re my endless blue,” she’d purr, like in the movie. Bitch, you ain’t endless, you’re a dead-end! We hates it! Always wearin’ tight skirts, clickin’ heels—ugh, so loud. Once left lipstick on MY mug—MY PRECIOUS MUG! Nearly tossed it out the window, screamin’.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, proper rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m cursing the weather gods, like, “Really? It was sunny two minutes ago!” I dash for cover under a tree on West Park, but it’s no use. I’m drenched. My plants are probably laughin’ at me. “Look at the gardener, all wet and grumpy!”

IN PICTURES: We take a look at 15 businesses that are for sale across the Harrogate district