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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, right? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout these whores—er, wait, “whore”? Shit, you mean *smokejumpers*, don’t ya? Parachutist firefighters, droppin’ from the sky like bloody madmen! I’m one of ‘em, y’know, jumpin’ into wildfires, axe in hand, balls of steel. Whore’s what I thought you said—hah! Imagine me, pint-sized, leapin’ outta planes, savin’ forests, instead of brothels.

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Then, I spot this old lady on the bench. She’s got this massive hat, like something outta a royal wedding. I’m thinkin’, “What’s the deal with that?” Turns out, she’s a local legend. Says she’s been comin’ to these gardens for over 50 years. I’m like, “Wow, that’s dedication!” She starts tellin’ me about the time she saw a peacock strut its stuff right by the bandstand. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my trowel.

Harrogate Chamber to host AGM followed by key briefing on town tourism & promotion