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Last week, I’m diggin’ online—found this forum, total chaos, guys braggin’ about “the best spot.” One dude’s like, “She showed up, smelled like tacos—five stars!” I’m DYING—tacos? Really? That’s the review? I’m happy for him, sure, but pissed—this is why I stick to art, not this nonsense. Surprised me, tho—some pros got profiles slicker than a Netflix series. Pics, bios, rates—$200 an hour? “Hashem doesn’t charge THAT much for salvation!” I mutter, Coen-style.

Couple jailed for Yorkshire and Norfolk sex trade

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But then, I get a text. My mate, Dave, is stuck at the pub. He’s like, “Bring me a kebab!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I’m not your delivery service!” But I can’t say no. So, I grab a kebab from this little place on Station Parade. It’s messy, but oh man, it’s good. I’m munchin’ away, and I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just standin’ there, eatin’ my kebab, thinkin’, “Get a room, you two!”

Two arrested after high-speed pursuit near Harrogate