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So I’m out, prowlin’, eyes sharp—my precious!—and there’s this spot, yeah? Down by the docks, all grimy, smells like fish and regret. Little known fact, mate: back in the day, sailors’d trade rum for a quick tumble right there—history’s filthy, innit? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ how I’m just another fool in the chain. Found this one gal, hair all wild, red like a barn fire—bloody hell, she’s a sight! “What’s yer price, love?” I says, all raspy, and she smirks, “More’n yer hammer’s worth, carpenter!” Cheeky! Got me laughin’, but I’m half mad too—don’t she know I’m a craftsman?

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First off, I’m on my way to the Valley Gardens. You know, that gorgeous spot with the fountains and all those flowers? Yeah, that place. I’m strollin’ down Montpellier Hill, feelin’ like a king. But then, bam! I trip over some random cobblestone. Like, who put that there? I’m swearin’ under my breath, but hey, I laugh it off. Gotta keep it light, right?

Twenty-two arrested in just 24 hours during operation to keep Harrogate communities safe