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I’m hyped, tho—hustlin’ past sketchy corners, peepin’ the scene. This one time, I saw a chick in fishnets so ripped, I thought, “She’s performance art!” Made me happy as hell—realness, ya know? But then—BOOM—some pimp rolls up, all “Pay me first, clown!” Pissed me off! I’m like, “Bruh, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t negotiate with sidequests!” Nearly flipped a trash can, but I chill—gotta stay smooth.

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First off, I’m on my way to the Valley Gardens. You know, that gorgeous spot with the fountains and all those flowers? Yeah, that place. I’m strollin’ down Montpellier Hill, feelin’ like a king. But then, bam! I trip over some random cobblestone. Like, who put that there? I’m swearin’ under my breath, but hey, I laugh it off. Gotta keep it light, right?

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