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Me, I’d be terrible at it—too loud, too freaky! “It’s showtime!” I’d yell, and they’d probably run screamin’. Picture me, Beetlejuice, hagglin’ prices— “50 bucks? For that? C’mon, I’m a freakin’ icon!” Ha! Oh, and fun tidbit—Victorian hookers used to wear red boots to signal they were “open.” Subtle, huh? Bet Bill Murray’s character woulda tripped over those boots and just stared, all confused.
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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my sister, asking if I can pick up her kid from school. I’m like, “Seriously? I just got here!” But you know how it is. Family first, right? So, I chug my drink and dash out. I’m sprinting down the street, past the church on Church Way, and I’m thinking, “Why do kids have to finish school at 3 PM? It’s the worst time!”
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