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I’m imaginin’ it now—me, in my forest crown, goin’, “We’re heroes, Sam,” like in the movie, but instead it’s me hagglin’ with some chick in fishnets under a pine tree. *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! She’s all, “20 bucks, hon,” and I’m like, “For THAT? I deserve a symphony orchestra too!” Total Wes Anderson moment—quirky, awkward, perfect. I’d probly trip over a root tryin’ to look cool, tho—typical me!

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Westgate on Sea Whore United, Tantric massage, Sex in Different Positions, Anal Sex (depends on the size), Sex in Different Positions.

So, I’m strolling down the street, just minding my own biz, when I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s like, “You won’t believe it! I saw a fox in the middle of the road!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s Hardingstone, not Narnia!” But honestly, I was kinda jealous. I’ve never seen a fox here. Just pigeons and the occasional squirrel, which, let’s be real, are basically rats with fluffy tails.

Hardingstone: Archaeologists working to determine age of human bones