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About Liverpool

Me? I’d kill for one right now—work’s been a bitch, shoulders tight as hell. Last time I got one, chick used this warm stone trick—felt like lava, but good lava, ya know? Had me thinkin’, “Why’d you come back?”—straight outta “The Return,” that line hit me. Why DO we keep chasin’ this? ‘Cause it’s primal, man, greed drivin’ us nuts! I was HAPPY, floatin’, but pissed too—why ain’t this daily? Who’s hoggin’ all the good masseuses?

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After that, I head down to the Thames. The river’s looking all pretty, and I’m trying to calm down. But then I see this group of tourists. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone right into the river! I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-cringing. Like, dude, that’s a £1,000 phone gone!

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