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About Bristol

Once, I saw this chick, right? High heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she owned the block. I’m like, “Fo’ shizzle, she’s it!” Walked up, all smooth, but—bam—she a cop! Man, I was heated, heart racin’, thought I’d be toast. Laughed it off later, tho—Snoop don’t sweat the small stuff. Reminded me of that movie line, “I am a golden god!”—felt that dumb for a sec.

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First off, I hit the High Street. You know, the main drag where all the shops are? I’m just trying to grab a coffee from that little café, The Coffee House. But nah, there’s a line longer than the Thames! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, people, it’s just coffee!” Finally, I get my flat white, and it’s lukewarm. Like, what even? I’m ready to throw it at the wall, but I just sip it instead. Gotta keep it classy, right?

Hadleigh charity shop owner, 91, appointed MBE after raising £2m