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Here’s a tip, bud—X posts’ll tell ya where the action’s at. Them fellas online spill the beans, sayin, “Check the truck stop at midnight.” Surprised me, man, didn’t think truckers was that bold! I’m picturin Boonmee’s nephew turnin into a dang monkey, and I’m like, “Maybe I’m turnin into a pimp out here!” Ha! Git-R-Done!

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I get to the market, and it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m tryin’ to squeeze through, dodgin’ prams and old folks. I finally grab a butty, and it’s glorious. I’m munchin’ away, feelin’ like a king. Then, bam! Some kid runs into me, and my butty goes flyin’. I’m like, “Noooo!” It’s like slow-mo, watchin’ it hit the ground. I’m fumin’.

Police confirm 'sudden death' of man after guns seized in CSI probe