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But serious, what pisses me off? The judgy jerks—oh, “she’s trash,” they say. Trash? She’s survivin’! “Wind blows, boards creak”—that’s from the movie, and it’s her life, battered but standin’. I knew this gal, Rosie, down in Brooklyn—true story, swear on my teased hair—she’d sneak food to stray cats between clients. Heart o’ gold, that one. Made me happy, like, “Aw, Rosie, you’re a saint!” Surprised me too—thought she’d be all tough, but nope, softie.

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Then, I spot this little pub, The Gresford Arms. I duck in to escape the rain. It’s cozy, smells like chips and beer. I grab a pint, and the bartender’s a legend. We start chatting about diving, and he tells me about this old mine nearby. Apparently, it’s haunted or something. I’m like, “Dude, let’s go!” But he just laughs and says, “You’re braver than me!”

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