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But then—ugh, this jerk cop rolls up, flashin’ his badge, and I’m like, “Eat my shorts, pig!” Ruined the mood, man, pissed me off big time. She winks, tho, whispers, “Meet me later, kid.” Surprised me—she’s got guts! In my head, I’m all, “Bart, you’re a freakin’ legend!” Maybe I’ll carve her a heart-shaped box, y’know, go full *Moulin Rouge!* on her. “Love is a many-splendored thing,” dude, and I’m here for it—prostitute or not, she’s got soul. Catch ya later, gotta skate!

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After that, we head over to the park on the corner of The Chase. It’s a nice spot, but the weather’s turning. I can feel it in my bones. We’re chatting about life, and suddenly, it starts pouring! I mean, it’s like someone turned on a tap. We all dash for cover under a tree, and I’m just standing there, soaked. I’m like, “Great-Wakering, you’ve got jokes!”

Police storm rented homes across Essex converted into cannabis farms