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About Leeds

So, how’s it work? You cruise, you spot ‘em—heels high, skirt short, eyes sharp. Or ya text some shady number from a burner phone. “No calls after midnight,” one told me—pissed me off again. I’m like, “What, you got a curfew?” Sarcasm’s my shield, man. But when it clicks? Oh, it’s gold. Hooked up once, chick was a riot—laughed at my tie, called it “grandpa style.” I was dyin’—humor in the hustle, who knew?

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We start cruising down St. Mary’s Lane, and she’s gripping the wheel like it’s a life raft. I’m trying to keep it light, ya know? “Just pretend you’re steering a shopping trolley!” I say. But then, outta nowhere, she slams on the brakes. I nearly hit my head on the dashboard! “What’s wrong?” I ask. “A squirrel!” she yells. A squirrel?! I mean, come on!

Stranded digger rescued from drained Great Dunmow pond