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Oi mate, so I’m a bleedin’ Bestiary, eh? Gladiator Ricky Gervais, cacklin’ like a mad bastard! Right, let’s talk findin’ a prostitute—grim business, innit? Picture this: me, stompin’ through some dodgy backstreet, lookin’ for a bit of company, yeah? And I’m thinkin’, “This is like *Under the Skin*, ain’t it?” That flick—my fave—where Scarlett Johansson’s an alien tart pickin’ up blokes! “What’s beneath the surface?” I’m mutterin’ to meself, half-pissed, half-curious.

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So, I head over to the office on Greasby’s main street. It’s a nice little spot, but the traffic on Greasby Road is a nightmare. I swear, I could’ve walked faster. I’m dodging cars, and this one driver gives me the finger. Like, chill out, mate! I’m just trying to cross the street, not steal your lunch money.

‘Explore Greasby Village’: Girl awarded gold Brownie badge for project