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So, here’s the deal—findin’ a hooker ain’t rocket science. Back in the day, you’d cruise dodgy alleys, eyes peeled for fishnets. Now? Fuckin’ apps, mate! Websites too—shady ones, pop-ups galore, screamin’ “cheap tits here!” Makes me wanna hurl, the laziness of it. Used to be grit, now it’s swipe right—pathetic!

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First off, I’m tryna grab my morning cuppa at the local café on Greasby Road. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, half-asleep, and this bloke in front of me orders, like, a million things. I’m like, “Mate, it’s a café, not a buffet!” I mean, c’mon, I just want my flat white and to get on with my life.

Look at these artist impressions of new Wirral venue, The Manor at Greasby