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About Birmingham

So, I’m cruisin’, lookin’ for the one, and I see this fit bird, proper peng. I’m like, “Aight, love, what’s good?” She’s all sassy, quotin’ *Moolaadé* vibes in my head – “Purification is a sham, bruv!” I’m laughin’, ‘cos she don’t even know she’s droppin’ bars. I ask her rate, and she’s like, “50 quid, quick ting.” I’m fumin’ – 50? For a shag? Inflation’s hittin’ the prossie game too! Last week, my mate Dave got a knee-trembler for 20. What’s this, Brexit tax?

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We went out for a walk came back went to the only bar and was then approached by a russian prostitute for fifty lira for sex this happened twice in front of my.

First off, the weather was all over the place. One minute, it’s sunny, and the next, it’s pouring like the heavens opened up. Typical UK, am I right? I’m standing there, trying to make a flat white, and I look out the window. There’s this poor bloke on the street, drenched, trying to shield himself with a newspaper. I mean, c’mon, mate, that’s not gonna help! I chuckled a bit, but then I felt bad. Like, who doesn’t love a good rain story, but not like that, ya know?

The many lives of Balmoral House