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Dunno if it’s safe, tho—nasty, nasty! Cops nab ‘em sometimes, sneaky pigs. “Don’t be a schmuck!” I’d yell, but they don’t hear Gollum, nooo. One time, heard a tale—bloke paid, she ran, left him with nothin’ but a fake number, ha! Laughed me arse off—sucker! “You’re not in the game, you’re out!” like Belfort’d say, yesss.

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Women's Aid is the national charity working to end domestic abuse against women and children. As a federation we provide life-saving services across England.

So, I’m wanderin’ around, and I bump into this old mate from school. You know, the one who always thought he was cooler than everyone? Turns out he’s a “life coach” now. I nearly choked on my smoothie. Life coach? In Grantham? What’s he coaching? How to avoid real jobs? I mean, come on!

Grantham: Further flats planned for former council offices