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Happy now, I got her, very nice! She talk, say johns pay big, some famous, wawaweewa! I write fast, 19 typo, who care, “famus,” “prostitue,” “detetive” – me, genius! Exaggerate? Yes, I say, “She tallest lady ever, 10 feet!” Funny, ya? I ask, “You like Royal Tenenbaums?” She say, “What?” I sad, best movie, she no taste!

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Finally, they show up, and it’s this guy, all flustered. Turns out, he got stuck behind a tractor on Lyle Road. A tractor! In Gourock! I mean, come on, it’s not exactly the countryside. But whatever, I’m here to help. We start talking about his investments, and he’s all over the place. One minute he’s into stocks, the next he’s convinced crypto is the future. I’m like, mate, you need to chill.

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