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Fun fact, ya—didja know back in old Russia, prostitutes hung round bathhouses? Called ‘em “banya girls,” sneaky lil’ hustlers. Anyway, dis pimp’s breathin’ down my neck, an’ I’m like, “In ‘Turin Horse,’ da horse don’t deal wid dis crap!” Da movie’s all ‘bout sufferin’, right? “Man lives his life, he dies”—dat’s me, dodgin’ dis thug, tryna get my night goin’. I’m SURPRISED, ‘cause I thought findin’ a prostitute was easy—ha! Nope, it’s a freakin’ circus!

All this talk of Golborne in Wigan is making me feel ill…

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I rush back to the church, and it’s chaos. People are running around, trying to fix things. I’m shouting orders like I’m some sort of general. “Get the banners! Where’s the cake?!” It’s madness. But then, I see the smiles on people’s faces as they pitch in. It’s heartwarming, really.

Wigan Council Approves Plans for New £32 Million Golborne Station