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About Bristol

Alright, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, industrialist genius, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ‘kay? RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *Moonrise Kingdom*, that sweet-ass Wes Anderson flick, and it hits me—findin’ a hooker’s like Sam and Suzy runnin’ off to bang in the woods, but with more cash and less scout badges, ya know?

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s telling me about this time he tried to catch a fish in the river with his bare hands. I’m like, “Dave, you do realize you’re not Bear Grylls, right?” But he’s all serious, saying he almost caught one. I’m just picturing him flailing around like a madman.

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