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Gameplay’s where it shines tho. You hustle, bribe, even sweet-talk these girls—“I’m the one who decides here,” I mutter, channelin’ César from *A Prophet*, feelin’ like a boss. But then—surprise!—some john pulls a knife, and I’m like, “What the fuck?!” Nearly threw my controller, legit thought I’d die laughin’ at how extra it was. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but that’s the vibe—chaos, grit, and a lil horniness. Oh, and the soundtrack? Banger. Synth beats so good I’d abduct the composer.

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But then, outta nowhere, it started to rain. Like, proper British rain. I’m talkin’ buckets! I ducked into a café on the corner of Canterbury Street. It’s cozy, but packed. I squeezed in, drippin’ wet, and ordered a cuppa. The barista, bless her, was all smiles. She said, “You look like you’ve been through a storm!” I laughed and said, “You have no idea!”

Gillingham match-winner eyeing next season with optimism