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Alright, listen up, ya horny bastards—sex-dating’s a freakin’ mess, ain’t it? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, and it’s like, everybody lies, right? Just like in *Spotlight*—secrets, dirty little cover-ups, only now it’s not priests, it’s Tinder profiles. You swipe, you match, you think, “Oh, jackpot!” Nah, pal, it’s a scam half the time. Catfish city. Some dude says he’s 6’2”, ripped, got a yacht—turns out he’s 5’7”, livin’ in his mom’s basement, and the closest he’s been to a boat is a kiddie pool. “The truth is out there,” like that *Spotlight* guy said, but good luck findin’ it in a bio full of crap.

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So, I head to the shop on Victoria Road. It’s a small place, but they’ve got the best tools. I’m looking for a new saw. You know, the one that cuts through bone like butter. I’m all excited, right? But guess what? They’re out of stock! I’m fuming. “What do you mean you’re out?!” I’m practically shouting. The guy behind the counter just shrugs. “Supply chain issues, mate.” Ugh, don’t even get me started on that.

Gedling MP drops in to see progress on retirement-living new-build in Daybrook