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So, picture this—me, green lil’ frog, ribbitin’ down some grimy alley. “The world’s a dangerous place,” like Carlos says, and boy, was it! Saw this gal, all sequins and sass, leanin’ on a lamppost. Thought, “Hi-ho, jackpot!” But then—bam!—some jerk in a trench coat starts yellin’. Pimp, maybe? Got mad as heck—nobody messes with Kermit’s vibe! Ribbitted outta there fast, heart poundin’ like crazy.

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As the night goes on, I’m laughing with these guys. Turns out, they’re from Nottingham, just out for a laugh. We’re swapping stories, and I’m telling them about my job. They’re all wide-eyed, like I’m some sort of superhero. “You cut bones? That’s mental!” I’m like, “Yeah, mate, but it’s not as cool as it sounds.”

Gedling Country Park annual car pass to cost visitors £200