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But—surprise, yeah?—she knew his stats! Told me later, “I watch games, love a striker.” A prossie with a football brain—didn’t see that comin! We swears! Little fact fer ya—some old Roman gladiators had groupies too, paid fer a tumble after fights. History’s a riot, innit?

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After that, I strolled down to the canal. Garstang’s canal is beautiful, man. I love watching the boats go by. It’s peaceful, ya know? But then, I spotted this old guy trying to fish. He was all tangled up in his line, looking like a hot mess. I couldn’t help myself. I walked over and said, “Need a hand, mate?” He just grumbled something about “bloody fish” and “stupid line.” I helped him out, and he ended up catching a tiny perch. He was so chuffed, it made my day.

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