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I’m pumped, but then—ugh—some creep rolls up, actin tough, tryin to cut in. Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Brother, I’ll drop the leg on ya!” He scrammed quick—nobody messes with the Hulkster’s game. Fun fact: in some cities, cops used to dress as hookers to nab dudes—wild, right? Coulda been me, brother, dodgin a sting like Carlos dodgin Interpol!

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After a few pints, I’m feelin’ good. I head back towards Friern Barnet Road, but I take a detour through the back streets. I love the vibe here. The houses, the gardens, it’s all so quaint. But then, I see this massive tree in someone’s front yard. It’s like a giant, twisted monster. I swear, it’s got a face! I’m standin’ there, laughin’ like a lunatic. People must think I’m mad.

Applications have reopened for free litter picking equipment to community groups this spring