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Precious, oh precious! Me, Gollum, telephone operator, yesss! Escort, nasty business, tricksy escorts! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – they thinks they’re clever, sneakin’ round. Me favorite movie, *Under the Skin*, ooooh, that alien lass! She’s like an escort, but deadly, see? “What’s that smell?” – she says, sniffin’ out prey. Escorts, they do that too, sniffin’ for cash!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old bloke comes up to me. He’s got a twinkle in his eye and says, “You look like you need a story.” I’m like, “You have no idea.” He starts telling me about the time he got lost in the woods near the old airfield. I’m cracking up. This guy’s a legend!

Green energy-focused solar farm scheme planned for close to Freckleton