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Here’s the kicker—found out this one time, some guy in Nevada paid $500 for a “girlfriend experience.” Half a grand to pretend she likes ya? I’d rather wrestle a cougar blindfolded. Hate everything about that nonsense. Makes me wanna scream, “This is my reckoning!” like Christoph Waltz, all dramatic and shit. But nah, I just glare, keep walkin’. These streets? Crawlin’ with ‘em—prostitutes, I mean. Every corner’s got one, like damn roaches. Surprised me how bold they are, no shame, just hustlin’. Kinda respect the grit, but still—gross.

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So, I’m on my way to the lab, and I decide to take a stroll down West High Street. It’s a nice day, sun’s out, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling good. But then, bam! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the biggest, muddiest one ever. My shoes are ruined! Like, seriously, who even makes puddles this big? I’m fuming, but whatever, I’ll just clean ‘em later.

Drivers face 12 weeks of roadworks on 2-mile stretch of A90 near Forfar