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Here’s the tea—prostitutes got codes, man. Little signals, like how pufferfish puff up to flex. Maybe a wink, a lean, a “you good?” vibe. I’m out here, chaotic energy maxed, yellin’, “Show me the secret handshake!” People stare, but I don’t care—I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see shit normies miss! Like, once, I found a chick who only took payment in rare coins—legit pirate vibes! Blew my mind, had me laughin’ like a hyena on shrooms.
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So, I hang up, and I’m already sweating. I grab my coffee, and it’s stone cold. Ugh! Just my luck. I’m about to microwave it when the phone rings again. This time, it’s Mrs. Thompson from Church Street. She’s complaining about the noise from the pub down the road. “It’s too loud!” she says. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a pub! What do you expect?” But I nod and say, “I’ll pass it on.”
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