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Little known fact, yeah? Back in the day, mountain towns had “ladies of the night” for miners—kept ‘em sane, or so they reckoned. This one, she’s got stories—tells me ‘bout a john who paid in gold nuggets once, fuckin’ nutter. I’m laughin’, but inside I’m like, “Hannibal’d carve him up nice—chianti on the side.” Made me happy, her sass—girl had guts, y’know? Not just a body, a bloody survivor.

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Then, I get a call from my sister. She’s in a tizzy ‘cause her kid lost his favorite trainers. “You gotta help me, bro!” she says. I’m like, “I’m in the middle of a shoe crisis here!” But family comes first, so I promise to keep an eye out.

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