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Here’s the deal… it’s all fast, furious, like Max haulin’ ass cross the desert. You gotta know the roads – apps now, I hear, like Tinder but, uh, spicier? – or you’re toast. Makes me happy, tho, thinkin’ folks got choices, even if I’m sittin’ here sippin’ coffee, wonderin’ why I’m typin’ this with 17 typos alredy. Dang it! “I live, I die, I live again!” – that’s me, wrestlin’ this keyboard.

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Then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I chase the bird down the beach, flappin’ my arms like a madman. People are laughin’, and I’m just tryin’ to get my lunch back. But that feathered thief was too quick. I’m left with nothing but crumbs and a bruised ego.

Police Investigate "Suspicious" Van in Eastfield and Filey