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Well, halleluyer, chile! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them parachutist firefighters—jumpin’ outta planes, savin’ forests, all that heroic mess—and then you throw “find a prostitute” in my face! Lawd, I nearly fell outta my chair laughin’. Now, I ain’t judgin’—well, maybe a lil’—but I’m Madea, honey, and I got thoughts! You know I love me some “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives”—that movie’s weird as hell, but deep, y’all. Got me ponderin’ life, death, and everythang in between. So let’s mix this up, talk ‘bout findin’ a prostitute with some Southern sass and a sprinkle of Boonmee magic.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s peeking through my curtains on Victoria Road. I’m like, “Cool, let’s do this.” Grabbed my coffee from that little café on the corner of Church Road. You know the one? The barista there is always grumpy. Like, dude, it’s just coffee, not rocket science! But hey, I get it. Mornings suck.

Heart of Ferndown to be “reinvigorated” with latest improvements