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Here’s the kicker—my buddy swears he met one at a dive bar. Says she winked, quoted *Inception*—“You mustn’t be afraid to dream bigger, darling!”—and boom, deal sealed. I’m jealous as fuck! Why can’t I get that lucky? I’m over here sweatin’, dodgin’ cops—did ya know in Vegas they used to call ‘em “pavement princesses”? Hilarious, right? But I’m not laughin’ when I’m lost in this rabbit hole.

9 Ferndale Avenue, LEIGH

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Finally, I manage to get her sorted. She leaves looking fab, and I’m feeling like a hero. But then, the next customer is a bloke who’s had one too many pints at The Crown. He stumbles in, slurring his words, and I’m just thinking, “Oh great, here we go.” He wants a trim, but he can’t sit still. I’m dodging his head like I’m in a boxing match.

Man dies at supermarket in Tylorstown, Ferndale