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Now, I’m gettin’ mad—why’s society gotta crap on ‘em? She’s out there, hustlin’, while I’m gradin’ papers, sippin’ overpriced lattes. “I’m alone,” ScarJo whispers in the flick, and damn, that hits. This gal’s alone too, probs. Makes me sad, then pissed—why ain’t there a union for this? Prostitute guilds! I’d join—well, no, I wouldn’t, I’d be terrible at it. “Pretty, pretty bad at solicitin’,” I’d say, trippin’ over my own feet.

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Feltham, and let me tell ya, it was a rollercoaster. First off, I live near the High Street, right by the Feltham Centre. You know, the place where you can get everything from a dodgy kebab to a fancy coffee? Yeah, that’s my morning spot.

Feltham crash: Teens killed in horror bus collision near Heathrow Airport pictured